Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
