I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
