if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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