I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
