So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
