just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
