girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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