Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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