pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
My butt remains clenched, sir.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
