He had one of those small greek statue penises
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Sorry my hands just texted you
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
