whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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