there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
