16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
MIDGETS
????
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
