The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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