I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
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