i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
