8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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