she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize