just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
