Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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