Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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