I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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