well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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