i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
