he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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