First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize