Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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