I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Acid is not a monday night drug
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Found the puke drawer
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
