Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
