Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize