I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
