You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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