Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
This house was built for laser tag.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
