wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I intend to get homeless drunk
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
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