dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
