i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
