just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
