I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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