Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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