What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I think a kid would responsible me up
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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