It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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