Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize