party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
