I hope mine doesn't look like that
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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