he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
