I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
