I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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