ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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