well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
from now on my penis is your penis
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
