The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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