I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
