Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
