Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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