So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
