I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
pray to the hookup gods
I FOUND THE LEGS
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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