he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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