i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Blood and glitter go together right?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
