Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
