I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
